Loving What You Do Doesn't Protect You From a Workplace That Hurts You

One of the most painful experiences I encounter as a clinical psychologist and executive coach involves professionals who genuinely love their work but have come to dread going to work.

They love their profession. They believe in its purpose. They take pride in their competence and the difference they make. Yet the people they work with, particularly certain managers and colleagues, have made their professional lives emotionally unbearable.

Recent research confirms something I have observed for decades. Loving your work does not necessarily protect you from professional hurt.

A 2026 study published in the Journal of Management & Organization, involving 512 employees, found that abusive supervision was associated with reduced autonomy, self-confidence in one's abilities, and feelings of belonging. These losses, in turn, undermined employees' sense of meaningful work.

Another study involving 296 social workers found that workplace bullying by managers and colleagues was associated with diminished meaning at work. Particularly troubling was the negative relationship between bullying by colleagues and psychological wellbeing.

Consider three examples of how this happens.

Imagine a dedicated nurse who loves caring for patients. She finds enormous satisfaction in easing suffering and helping families through difficult moments. Yet her supervisor constantly humiliates her in front of colleagues, questions her competence, and dismisses her concerns about hosptial procedures. Eventually, she begins experiencing anxiety before every shift. She still loves nursing, but she has come to fear the workplace.

Consider an experienced government accountant who takes pride in protecting public funds. He believes deeply in ethical conduct and accountability. However, colleagues repeatedly undermine him, while managers pressure him to approve questionable transactions. When he refuses, he is excluded from important discussions and labeled difficult. His commitment to public service remains strong, but his confidence and emotional wellbeing have begun deteriorating.

Or consider a passionate teacher who loves helping students learn and grow. She spends evenings preparing lessons and finding creative ways to reach struggling students. Yet her department head repeatedly criticizes her publicly, takes credit for her ideas, and encourages colleagues to isolate her. Eventually, the classroom remains her place of joy, while the staffroom becomes a source of emotional pain.

These examples illustrate an important distinction: You can love your profession and still be emotionally injured by the people around you.

This is what we call professional hurt.

A 2026 study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology also linked abusive supervision with burnout through employees' experiences of being dehumanized and losing their sense of personal agency.

So what should you do?

First, separate your love for your profession from your feelings about your workplace. Do not allow abusive colleagues or managers to convince you that you have lost your passion or competence.

Second, recognize and document harmful behavior. Identify patterns of humiliation, exclusion, intimidation, manipulation, or emotional abuse. Seek out and tap into the appropriate organizational support mechanisms when necessary.

Third, protect your emotional resilience. Speak with a trusted professional, therapist, mentor, or executive coach like myself who can help you regain perspective, establish boundaries, and make informed decisions about your future.

One reason I developed the Emotional Resilience Assessment for Professionals™, available free at ProfessionalHurt.com, was to help professionals understand how workplace experiences may be affecting their confidence, emotional wellbeing, and resilience.

After decades of coaching and counseling professionals, I have learned something important.

Sometimes you do not need a new profession. You need freedom from the people and workplace conditions that are destroying your love for the profession you chose.